Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.Whether phrased as "push your buttons," "get your goat," "get you riled up," or "annoy you," it's no fun to be on the receiving end. How to cope?
- jlh
1. Don't take it personally. Even when someone criticizes your actions or demeans your very nature, know that they are merely directing their inner turmoil in your direction. Someone else's opinion of you is mostly irrelevant, and basically none of your business. Don't assume that there is any validity to an accusation. Perhaps there is a valuable lesson buried inside the unkindness that merits objective consideration, but negative emotions are best just quickly discarded.
2. Look to the positive people in your life for support. If you balance many positive and supportive friends against one or two negative influences, it is much easier to cope. If you don't currently have enough positive people in your life, begin a focused effort to add positive people to your inner circle. If you don't have personal connections, search for groups of positive people at MeetUp.com
3. Remove negative people from your life. Yes you can, even if it's your boss. You don't need that job so much that it's worth your health or happiness. Everything in life is a choice. Sometimes making a change is important, while other times just knowing that you hold the power to make a different choice is enough.
4. Forgive the offender, not for their sake, but for your own sake. The act of forgiving releases your anger and provides space for rational thinking and action.
5. Be grateful for the wake-up call. Any time that someone or something grabs your attention is a good time to be grateful - even if the message is unpleasant. Something is happening that requires your conscious awareness. Perhaps you have a lesson to learn or an action to take. Perhaps it is time to remove another negative influence from your life.
6. Release any expectations that the unkind person should have acted differently. Life is not fair, and you only cause yourself unhappiness if you hold an expectation that life or any individual should be fair or kind.
Read Stop Anger Before It Stops You - 7 Secrets for more ways to cope with anger.
15 comments:
This all sounds so wonderful, but I find it so-o-o hard not to take it all PERSONAL-Maybe it is all for my own good. And how does one FORGIVE? I find it quite difficult to do, even the concept confuses me. I love your web site. I gets me to thinking and seems to center me.
Thank you for your site. I am realizing when I am angry at someone I AM taking it personnally. I am, we are, ME centered and egotistical;only concerned about how me,me,me. We learn this all our lives and now particularly from the media; tv, videos, youtube, news. We are inundated with ugly incidences about how people are treating each other and we laugh about it. We have to take steps to counter-act all of that. If I had young children now I would take action to limit that access.
Learning.
What I strive to do when I am encountering this type of situation is to picture the words as wind, I am listening to the words, emotion, etc and let the energy flow through & around me. I also take silent breaths to calm the adreline and stay focused. I usually do not respond until I can get myself centered. Use their energy to your advantage (think martial arts) I find that these 2 things seem to move me a small distance from the epicenter of conflict to where I can be more of an observer instead of reacting. Also, visualizing white healing light around the person & myself sometimes helps - just some thoughts.
I enjoy reading your E-Mails.Very inspirational.Thank-You! From.Cuqui.
Gee, Jonathan and All 4 of you "Anonymous" writers above, I really can use your suggestions. At present, there is an extremely negative enviroment around me.
Seesee
Thank you- this site saved me today.
This is what I needed today! I do take things personally. Sometimes I forget to count my blessings and only see the negative energy around me.
Great tips!!! It is not easy to move from a comfort zone, no matter how negative, but in the long run, it is much better.
I love the "picture the words as wind"...perfect, I will try this. Jeannie
Wow! this is what happened to me at work yesterday. I was very annoyed at someone and the whole day turned out horrible. I should teach myself how to react better in this situations...all the comments here are great advices. Thank you.btw I love your website :)
I have constant turmoil within my life and sometimes just get buried in day-after-day of horribleness. I find myself wanting to not take things personally, then gearing up for it by planning my reaction in advance. I try to prepare myself to be like James Bond - calm, classy - in what I know is likely to be a volatile situation. I coach myself mentally beforehand - be cool.
Usually that works - if I remember to use it when the situation develops. But often, I get that feeling high up in my chest, start loosing my breath, my anger begins to rise uncontrollably and then I just loose it.
I often regret the way I react in cases like this, and later on try to reconcile it to myself saying I'll never do it again. It's been working a bit better these days, but I still find myself 'over-reacting' and wish I could get better at managing myself.
Jon your writing is truly inspiring. I leave on a 10 day trip overseas today, so I'll get a chance reflect on you travel tips. Thank you!
I also enjoy this website and today, especially. I have read the comments from others and each one has made an impression on me. After I read the comment regarding the 'wind' I thought of something I was told years ago. Pretend you're a duck. (I know that sounds strange but keep on reading). Pretend the words are just water. The negative words are like water on a duck's back, they just slide right off. Then, the duck just shakes it off, a little more, and off he goes. My friend would cue me sometimes by saying, "Water off a duck's back." That's all I needed and I got it....I would smile or chuckle and then I didn't take it so seriously or personally. RM
thank you for your inspirational message,i try to let things go,but occassinally my heart saddened because of injustice and negative comments i hear around me.
i wll continue to work on your inspirational tips
This is really inspirational...
We know this facts inside our heart but sometimes we just forget these things in real life coz the environment around us is so negative, competitive. In professional life everyone is just pull each others legs.. So we forget these values and our thoughts gets corrupted in that process.
Very nice and important tips for live life with positive thinking!I like your collection of 6 way to cops!Life is war for warrior but garden for gardener!So take a chill pill!
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